The Death of UKIP

This piece first appeared on the The Dangerous Globe website written by my alter ego Bloemenstein-Whistlehuizen {Who hears the same voices in my head as I do}

(A drama in three episodes courtesy of our friends at THE SKWAWKBOX )

Once upon a time, many (60) years ago…….

I was proud to be British, we once had a “Boys Own” reputation for supporting the underdog, playing honestly and fairly at sport, our word was our bond and we would take on all comers when we saw injustices being committed. We gave passports to the Asian community when they were badly treated in Uganda, we honoured our commitments to ex colonials from Hong Kong, we sent billions in foreign aid all over the planet to assist with poverty and hunger, and we reacted to every major natural catastrophe with shelter, food and water for the people affected.

A pretty rose coloured perspective I know, bearing in mind our colonial past and bloodthirsty history across the globe, it’s no coincidence that the British Empire was coloured red across the globe, but I think it’s still fair to say that the UK was often looked upon as a seat of fair play.

I have travelled extensively, all of my life, throughout Africa, Europe, Asia and S. America, and until recently was always greeted with open arms and a warm welcome, I was British, I was an OK person, what would I like to eat and drink?

Then came UKIP, and its obnoxious, self-aggrandising, unelectable dickheadsays-it-all-about-farage-oils-cigar of a leader, Nigel Farage.

There has been a sea change since then, and it goes to the very core of the United Kingdom and its people. Farage’s behaviour in the European parliament has been disgraceful. He has systematically abused his position, steadfastly avoiding anything like a democratic voting process, and more often than not, hardly bothering to turn up at all.

His vitriolic attacks on fellow European politicians are not the sort of thing I expect from politicians that are supposed to be representing my country of birth, they resemble badly abused Pit Bulls.

Unsurprisingly, on mainland Europe at this moment, British people seem to be treated somewhat differently, in some cases as though we come from a leper colony, and in other cases as though we had just recovered from a serious illness, all tea and sympathy.

In short, I cannot state how much I despise this new face of Britain abroad, and I blame it on the monumentally stupid Brexit debacle, which was directly caused by Farage and his UKIP party.

But now, a ray of light on the horizon with the knowledge that Farage and his cronies are about to get a bloody big wake up call, and it is coming in instalments, so pour yourself a cup of tea, turn on, and watch the events of the next few weeks unfold.

Here are the story boards for the first 3 episodes

Episode 1

Brexit “R Day@ +1 (“one day after the Brexit referendum”)

Nigel Farage applies for residency in Germany, one day after Britain votes to leave the EU with a very slim majority.

Unfortunate Nigel doesn’t qualify for citizenship because…

1/     He hasn’t resided in Germany for 8 continuous years or

2/     Even Married to a German National, he hasn’t been resident in Germany for the reduced period of 3 continuous years.

So Nigel puts in a dodgy application citing a fictitious residence at an address in Hamburg that belongs to a relative of his wife.

Unfortunately for Nige, that is illegal. For a man reputed to have had a great education and “incredibly clever” as a result, this displays a stupidity of monster proportions.

It would be stupid for a man in the street to try this, but for someone who has had his face all over the news in the preceding months, the stupidity is elevated to pure arrogance and conceit. From the moment he signed the paper, it was almost guaranteed he would be reported, and the German Polizei are investigating the case.

Episode 2

UKIP embezzle 450,000 and must repay

Back in November UKIP were hauled up for using €450,000 of EU funds for electioneering campaigns including the Brexit referendum, thus hardly associated with their “European duties” as intended (and legally expected)

The accusation is that they “misspent” the money, but that’s a cop out, they stole, or embezzled the money. I can well imagine all the backslapping and laughter in UKIP Offices, at the thought that the money they nicked was being used to fund a referendum that would shaft the EU.

At the time of writing, there is a bigger and much wider investigation taking place on UKIP, and it is supported by Whistle blowers within the party, who have submitted a lengthy set of allegations to European authorities, with the sum of €20 Million mentioned.

Naturally this attracted little interest in the MSM, because it’s a true story, if it had been a home-made fake they would have been all over it. These allegations are not only about misappropriation of funds but, “High level corruption, money laundering, child pornography-using EU resources, and the abuse of office to avoid criminal proceedings”. Surely there are juicy enough allegations in there for The Sun, or the Daily Express?

What no takers?

Oh well we won’t have to wait long, because the formal findings of the EU authorities are due out on the 9th February, and I am willing to wager there will be one hell of a shit storm when its published.

Episode 3

Nigel Farage and his questionable choice of friends

Just to help complete the downfall of UKIP, the former Media Coordinator and office manager, George Cottrell is under lock and key, having bargained his way down from 20 charges of fraud and laundering money, to a single charge of being a very very naughty boy.

farage-and-cottrell
The Image on the right is just wishful thinking on my part

Again, in a fit of typical UKIPer brilliance he was nicked trying to flog a money laundering service to officers of the law in Phoenix, Arizona, under the misapprehension that the officers were drug dealers. Quite why a manager of a UK political party found himself in the company or drug dealers from Arizona is probably another story.

Hardly the brightest of people, Cottrell argued that he wasn’t actually going to launder the supposed Drug dealers’ money, he was going to steal it… So that makes it all OK then.

It’s probably just as well they were the old bill, or he could have been found in a couple of decades’ time as a pile of bleached bones in the desert

Mr Cottrell fits in with a party that has misappropriated €450,000 (with the promise of much more to come), and that misled millions with promises of zero immigration and extra cash for the NHS if the UK left the EU.

A word from the Dangerous Globe

Each of these issues taken as a single item, might slip past public scrutiny, but when you put them all on the same page you would have to be a bit slow on the uptake to miss a pattern developing in the UKIP morals department

As I said at the beginning, being British once meant that you were a person of substance, an honourable man with compassion and a willingness to help ones’ fellow man second to none in the world.

Thanks to the likes of Farage, being British is something we don’t want to talk about now, the British are now viewed askance, as though we are best to be avoided.

I have been known to go into bars in Amsterdam and put on an Irish accent for an entire evening just to stop folks staring at me in sympathy.

It’s not just an image thing either, from the top down we have actually become a nation of uncaring; unfeeling; money making machines that have sold off the Great British heritage to anyone with a fat enough cheque book.

Many of our politicians are corrupt, they spin through the revolving door between business and government creaming off vast profits for themselves and bugger the pensioners, the sick, the disadvantaged, nothing must get in the way of their quest for lucre.

We don’t just LOOK like bastards; we have become those Bastards. Those brave men that fought 2 world wars to try and keep Europe free of shitheads like Nigel Farage must surely be spinning in their graves.

I look forward to a Farage Free UK sometime very soon, then I can drop the Irish accent.

Bloemenstein-Whistlehuizen

 

 

 

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